Dear Mr Immune System
You’ve served me well over the last couple of years, and I’ve not exactly made life easy for you.
My parents don’t subscribe to the ‘Dettol everything’ philosophy, and neither do I. Yes everything was and is visibly clean, but no disinfectants touch our surfaces. When I cut myself or grazed a knee, tap water and a plaster always sufficed. None of this ‘kills 99.9% of bugs’ and antiseptic wipes malarkey.
Then there was a year living in halls on campus, with all the mess and bad cooking that entailed. You protected me so that I never once got a stomach bug, even though I did get Freshers’ Flu twice! And again last year, the first time I first-aided Freshers’ Week. In your defence, I got away with last year flu free.
So yeah, I’ve not been that kind, but you’ve always prevailed, and I am forever grateful that I don’t have to count myself among the immunosuppressed.
So what have I done to deserve this current blatant over-reaction. It’s only pollen, for goodness sake. It’s not like it’s a real disease, and we all know here are many out there, just look at the Dettol advert!
I really could do without the itchy eyes, the sneezing and the runny nose. I dislike constantly having to carry and take anti-histamines to counteract your over-excitement, and then have to try to resist the sedating side-effects. Why can’t you just let me go outside without such hassle?
So why not give me a break, at least for a few days. Then, hopefully, we’ll have a nice big rainstorm, preferably overnight, and I’ll be a bit happier for a little while.
The Walking Plaster Dispenser
P.S. Yes, I do have a problem with Dettol and their adverts. Talk about scaremongering!