As well as my (extremely time-consuming) activities with the Organisation, I am also a member of the theatre and event technical society on campus. I don’t do much for them, I don’t really have the time, but when I can I go down and help out. Recently I signed up to help out with the panto on campus, asking if I could run the lighting desk. I’ll admit that it’s been a long time since I did anything properly like this, but I do mostly know my way around a desk and with a little time I’m certain I could get back to it, and perhaps it would get me back in to doing this sort of thing on even an occasional basis.
I discovered today that I haven’t got the position. I won’t pretend that I’m not disappointed. This would be the first event in a long time where I’ve been able to make the time to help out, so I was really hoping to get the opportunity. I was also a little irritated to discover that the job has been given to someone who already has another (admittedly related) role in the show, when the position was offered up as a separate role. I won’t deny, he’s a lot better at that sort of thing than I am, and a lot more experienced in general, but that doesn’t really help stop it sting. Perhaps I’d be less annoyed if a new member was doing the role (after all, them gaining experience is more valuable to the society), but somehow I doubt it.
I could still do the event in some other role, but I have to weigh the benefits against having to take a night or two off of Cadets, and given that we’re short-staffed as it is, I think I’d struggle to justify it to myself.
This is always the way these things tend to work with me. I’m just a little sad, as I probably won’t be able to do any more of the theatre events after this. They all tend to fall on a Tuesday, a Wednesday and/or a Thursday, all evenings when I’m busy.
Sometimes I regret joining the Organisation, or how involved I’ve got in it, for all the stress that it’s caused and all the opportunities I’ve missed because of it. The fact that I can’t go be part of the University Band, or attend the sort of events I’m interested in with the society, or the other half-dozen things that all fall on a Thursday night.
Of cause, then I remember that because of it I can crew ambulances, and get to cycle around on the cool bikes, and I suppose that does make up for it. A little. I just wish I could do everything…