I’m currently living with only one of the three people I share a house with. I have a full set of new housemates this year, and I’ve never lived with any of them before, so I’m already expecting a little friction, but I hope that already being friends will help us get along okay.
I came out to this particular friend about a year and a half ago. It happened without a hitch (from my point of view) though he was a bit drunk at the time, leaving him with the difficult ‘did he really say that’ question to sort out for himself. Up until now, it’s never really caused a problem.
Now, he is a bit of a lad. In fact, he’s a lot of a lad, and makes no secret of it. He regularly treats me to stories of his exploits with women (past, present, and future). Now, as I have no real interest in women (at least, not in that way), I just tend to tune him out. I’ve gotten reasonably good at making all the right ‘yes I’m listening’ noises, without encouraging him in any way to continue. For the most part, these were mostly infrequent comments.
Emphasis on ‘were’.
I’m now treated to almost daily reports on what’s going on in his personal life, and I almost dread watching any TV program that even suggests at sex. It seems that he just can’t stop himself. And, on a regular basis, he then makes a gay comment.
Individually, they are pretty innocuous. Just the normal blokey comments with a slightly different twist. But put them all together and it’s driving me up the wall. I don’t really want to discuss my personal life , particularly not with someone who I’m pretty certain would make no bones about spreading it around if it suited him. He doesn’t seem to have any sense of the sort of questions I just don’t want him asking me. Fine, he might just be interested (or feigning interest) but I really wish he would just can it.
I’ve got to work out how to pass this on to him tactfully. I don’t want to fall out with him (particularly as the academic year hasn’t event started yet), but at the same time the way he’s acting just makes me want to go and hide in my room whenever I’m at home.
Oh yeah, and I need to work out how to stop him making comments along the lines of ‘cheer up you miserable git’ on a fairly regular basis. I haven’t discussed anything to do with mental health with him, and don’t intend to, but comments like this are almost more annoying than the rest. And all the more difficult to sort out…