I seem to have hit a new low in my feelings about my Organisation Work.
I love working with the young members. I enjoy doing the teaching, and working with them on duty is usually very rewarding. However, my youth work role comes with a boat-load of stress that I don’t think it really needs…
I have spent hundreds of hours working with this unit, and I’ve been there nearly six months now, and it feels like we’re getting nowhere. It really doesn’t help that it feels like I’m working with a member with all the initiative and get-up-and-go of a sloth, and another who worries me whenever he opens his mouth.
At the moment, it feels like we’re lurching from crisis to crisis, and I know that we haven’t been running things for long, but it doesn’t even feel like we’re moving forwards, let alone with any kind of plan. Time and again I find myself apologising for things being sent in late because someone else in the unit has mucked me about.
Just to make things even more fun, I’ve just restarted lectures, and am already quite worried about one and highly irritated about another. Oh, and my department has forgotten that one of my options is a second year module (I’m in my third year), and so far they have scheduled two separate lectures to clash with it. Tomorrow, I have a tutorial (which is sometimes a lecture) at the same time as a lecture for what is likely to be my most difficult module, and next week I’ll miss the introduction lecture because I’ll be in another one.
Needless to say, I’m feeling extremely stressed, and I am quite close to dropping the role here and now. I feel really bad about leaving them all in the lurch, but at this moment I just don’t think I have the energy to carry on.
I’m going to have a private chat with one of my bosses tomorrow. Hopefully we’ll be able to find a solution, because things can’t carry on as they are at the moment…