Anyone who’s read the majority of my posts (specifically, those mentioning NewDoc) will, I imagine, have worked this out already, but here goes:
I am a male. My romantic interests lie firmly in the male direction only.1
At Uni I promised myself that I would try and stop pretending to be something I’m not2, and so far this hasn’t cause me a problem. I am of cause careful if I see an incoming issue, but otherwise I’ve been I’m pretty open, and more importantly unashamed. I’ve only been bitten once, and have never had anything really serious happen. In fact, I’m rather pleased with myself. I never would have dared write a post like this before, however psuedo-anonymous this blog actually is.
Unfortunately, it’s not so easy at home. For various reasons I am not prepared to have The Conversation with my parents yet.
On the surface, that’s pretty simple. Except part of me is eternally paranoid that someone else will properly drop me in it. Like my brother (who I finally added on Facebook a little while back). And I’m sure they wouldn’t do it deliberately, but in this case all the best intentions don’t make a difference.
I’m probably being a bit hard on my friends (I’ve only told those I absolutely trust not to say anything and who I trusted not to explode when I did it). In fairness, I’m probably also being a bit hard on my parents. However, that’s the way it is at the moment, and I imagine that’ll be the status quo for a long time yet.
Explanations over. Now moving on to what I actually intended to blog about:
I just had the lovely experience of a conversation with my Mum, who was asking me if I had a girlfriend yet… Talk about awkward… I never really know how to answer, because whatever I say seems the wrong answer. Saying yes would be a lie, and while I’ll avoid telling the truth, I’m not telling an outright lie. Saying no opens me up to the follow-up question ‘well why not?’ Obviously, this is not a question I can happily answer without telling a lie.
The only option this leaves me is to ignore the question, which invariably ends up with my mum thinking I’m embarrassed, and jumping to all the wrong conclusions. Well, all the wrong conclusions except the one that also happens to be right.
As I said, I’m probably over-reacting, or at least over-thinking all of this, and as I said earlier, I’m probably being unfair on everyone I’m not telling.
Either way, if there is a Creator, he and I need to have a few words…
1 — Oh god oh god I’ve just came out to the Interwebs!
2 — Can’t work out a better phrase. The cliché… It burns. It burns!