Confidence and the Magic Uniform
I am not a confident person. In fact, I would go as far as to say that I have next to no self-confidence. I’m the sort of person who you’ll find at the back of the room, only really interacting with the people I know, taking ages to get comfortable around people I don’t. Take me to a nightclub (and people have tried…) and you’ll end up sitting outside with me while I try to come down from a claustrophobia induced panic attack. Take me to a pub, and there had better be people I know, otherwise I won’t be around for long.
So yeah, confidence is not something I’m good at.
Except, stick me in my uniform and something changes. Truss me up in my shirt and tie and steel toe-capped boots and I’ll clomp through a hyperventilation inducing dance floor as if I own the place (and the deity of your choice help you if you get in my way when I’m in a hurry…). Add a hi-viz and a kit, chuck me in a room with people in similar clothing that I’ve never met and I’ll have new Facebook friends before the day’s out.
The effect even persists a little when I have to treat. Put me in a group and set an engineering task and I’ll try and avoid making any decisions or directing anything (well, until you irritate me one too many times, and then I won’t lead, I’ll just head off and leave you behind, but that’s a rant for later). Stick me in a similar group and have one of them need treating, and I’ll take charge in a flash. In face, sometimes I have to take a step back and remind myself that I can’t always be in charge.
Shifting from Engineer to First Aider, or Youth Leader, makes me feel like a different person. A person with confidence in what he does. A person who makes decisions, and, most of the time, doesn’t spend ages second guessing them.
I like this person. I wish I was him all the time.
Perhaps this is why I enjoy First Aid so much, and why I’m considering doing a different degree.