As I have mentioned on another blog, my biggest fear about doing first aid as much as I do is that one of these days I’ll come across a real patient who is unresponsive and not breathing. I can do it on a dummy, that’s easy. A Little-Anne, the mannikin we use to train CPR on, doesn’t look very real. How ever much I pretend, it never was alive. It doesn’t have a family, or a life of its own. It will just lie there, no matter how much effort I put in to chest compressions, or how many additional pieces of equipment I throw at it.
A thought occurred to me: I want to get further involved in the Organisation. I am considering (more strongly all the time) retraining as a paramedic. The first increases the chances of me dealing with a resus, or some other life-threatening condition. The second makes the this almost a certainty.
And I’m scared. I’m scared I’m going to enter a situation and freeze, not knowing what to do.
And yet I still want to do this… I must be insane…