I have an appraisal on Friday. As the observant amongst you can probably tell, I’m not overly impressed (hint: Tags).
I have had to sit through this sort of thing for five years now. Each time my tutor/mentor/supervisor/whatever and I have sat down in a room, we’ve talked about how I’m completely failing to have any problems, and how if I have a problem I’ll come and find them. Then, we set some completely worthless, impossible to measure target, purely because someone decided that without targets nothing is achievable.
Does it show that I’m a little sceptical about the entire process?
Such targets have included:
- ‘Continue your hard work.’
- ‘Keep up the good work.’
- ‘Aim for a 90% average this exam period.’
- And my personal favourite: ‘Continue the good work, but try not to help so many people in class. Concentrate on your own studies first.’
Perhaps I’m being a little cynical, but this has always seemed a complete waste of time to me.
Oh, and I forgot. They are always accompanied by some form that is basically an exercise in using a lot of words while saying nothing. It asks for difficult things like ‘What are you good at’ (which always makes me feel like I’m showing off, something I’m not comfortable doing) and ‘What are you bad at’ (I can think of lots of things, but things I can get fixed I deal with, and there’s little point discussing things that can’t be fixed…) And then there’s the questions like ‘what do you like doing?’ and ‘what don’t you like doing?’. Except, I can only come up with really vague things for the first thing, which always seems rather pointless, and while there are things i don’t like, they still need doing so there’s no point complaining about them. Besides, I would like to keep my job, thank you, so I’m not going to complain too hard… I can’t come up with anything truly constructive, and what would going off on a long rant achieve except cause further problems?
And then there’s the pièce de résistance, my targets. Because of cause, no progress can happen without them… Let me see, what are my current goals:
- Become an ambulance crew with the Organisation.
- Become a cycle responder with the Organisation.
- Get involved in Youth Work.
- Work out if engineering is really what I want to do with my life…
- Work out why I keep thinking that it’s a good idea to ditch everything engineering and become a paramedic.
Something like ‘try and improve my soldering’ or ‘learn how to do PCB design’ seem to pale into insignificance against those last two, especially as they might explain why the first three are first in my list…
So yeah, appraisals are not really what I need at the moment, and while I’m certain they’re being done for all the right reasons, I’m sure you can excuse me if my heart really isn’t in it.